SAT scores were released today. Suffice to say, I did rather poorly. While I cannot recall my exact score at the moment, it came in around the high 1800's or low 1900's. This, according to the College Board, means I fall into the exceedingly low 80th percentile overall. Awful. Some of this, of course, must be attributed to my actual performance on the test; some questions were marginally more mystifying than others. However, I am still in an uproar about the galling goof-ball who coughed, wheezed, sneezed and spewed for the better part of the test. It was decidedly distracting! As such, I have composed this small tune, meant to be recited before leaving to take the SAT.

To the tune of "If You're Happy and Your Know It Clap Your Hands"

If you're sick and you know it stay at home
(clap clap)
Si vous êtes malade et vous le savez séjour chez vous
(clap clap)
If you're sick and you know it, then your physique will surely manifest it;
Se siete ammalati e lo conoscete soggiorno nel paese
(clap clap)

If people remember to sing that witty little number prior to taking the SAT, then neither I, nor anyone else, will have to suffer from the sounds of sniffling ever again. It even covers multiple languages to save French and Italian speaking people from the purgatory.

Ideally, though, the College Board would just bar people who would cause a distraction with their superfluous sniffling from taking the test. They do not allow you to put water bottles on your desk, or even wear clothing related to the subject matter. What sets sniffling apart? If anything, it causes more distraction and disturbance than goofy SAT shirts.

My former mechanical pencil, which was falling apart, finally met its demise on Thursday, when I lost it. I have no idea what happened to it, but I no longer have it in my possession. As such, it became necessary to find a new pencil. Going through one day (today) with a regular pencil was somewhat painful. At first I considered getting the same thing I had previously, which was a Japanese import, but then decided against it. Eventually I stumbled across a Swiss company, Caran d'Ache, who makes very nice writing instruments. Some of their products are a bit on the expensive side, but I was able to find a very nice all-metal pencil for $16. So far I have found it to be better than my old pencil, and it was actually made in Switzerland.

From the other side of the world, comes Uniqlo, a really great Japanese clothing retailer. They sell all sorts of high-quality basic clothing for incredibly low prices, with impeccably good service. From what I have read it sounds like Gap quality clothing for Old Navy prices with Saks Fifth Avenue service. Sounds pretty good to me. I just wish the first stores in the US were opening somewhere closer than New Jersey.

SAT Question - Complete the Sentence:

Joseph was quite ------- with the -------- person who coughed while he was taking the SAT.
A) enamored, fascinating
B) thrilled, prepossessing
C) absorbed, entertaining
D) nettled, vapid
E) affable, charming

The SAT and all related entities are trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board.

The answer is D) nettled, vapid.

Explanation: While taking the SAT today Joseph was trapped in a stuffy room with a very vapid person who coughed, sneezed, sniffed and spewed for, essentially, the entire three hour and forty-five minute testing period. While he has confidence he did not bomb the test, he nonetheless feels his performance was hampered by the obnoxious child.

Going back into the first person - today I took what is now called the "SAT Reasoning Test," complete with essay, easy math questions, and dull as death passages to read. However, as the faux SAT question indicates, I was quite upset with the obnoxious person who I got stuck in a room with. I do not actually know this person, but they were (really, really) annoying.

Other than that annoyance, I feel fairly good, this being the first time I took the test. There were a few passage-based questions that were confusing, but otherwise things went rather smoothly. I doubt I got a score I will be happy with, mostly because of the annoying person, who distracted me quite often. The next time I take the SAT I will be bringing earplugs, though I hope I am not forced to use them.

Harriet E. Miers, the president's newest pick for the Supreme Court, has proved, in the few days since her nomination, to be quite an interesting choice. For one thing, it clearly demonstrates the president's weakened political position. 43 is no longer pursuing the hard-line conservative agenda many predicted he would after his so-called election mandate. Miers may be a conservative in some regards, though one cannot put her in the same category as Antonin Scalia. In fact, W. has deviated enough from his crazy pseudo far right policies to force Dick Cheney into calling Rush Limbaugh's radio "show" to defend the nomination.

Granted, even if Miers proves to be a genius her nomination still seems slightly suspect. While her prior experience may not involve judging Arabian Horses, she is still, nonetheless, an old pal of W. It would have been far more comforting if W had found another John Roberts to put on the court. Roberts may not share all of my beliefs, but he is decidedly qualified, and seems up to the job.

On a somewhat unrelated tangent, I noticed, in doing some light research for this article, how unprofessional the Supreme Court's website is. For a body which has such an impact on so many people's lives, they really have a rather atrocious website.