Today I received a letter. Not just any letter, but a letter professing to be from the superintendent of my school district. While the letter was probably written by the junior undersecretary of the secretary of the secretary of education, it was nonetheless "interesting" reading. Apparently, in an effort to improve standards, the school district will implement a series of standardized "anchor assignments," which every student will be coerced into completing. However, upon reading the assignment sheet I found myself quite nonplussed. The assignments provided seemed more like the bare minimum than something elevating the standards. Here, for example, is the task set to eleventh and twelfth graders:

Any social science teacher who does not already do something similar to this in one form or another ought to be fired. The discussion of topical issues forms part of the basis for a social science class. Learning about the history and context of a particular set of social science issues and then being able to discuss them intelligently should be a given. The discussion of history, civics, economics or politics are to social science classes as addition is to a math class.

Furthermore, the assignment set to eleventh and twelfth graders could not be easier. The assignment should be at least marginally difficult. After all, this is being assigned to people in their last years of high school. Though, perhaps the best example of the assignment's exceptional simplicity is this very blog. I have been writing about politics, history, et al for at least three years right here. In fact, one could easily argue that I am doing it right now. What is more, I could almost write said assignment in French.

If this is raising the standards for education, then I am Louis XVI. These "anchor assignments" make about as much sense as the school district's recent plan to force all high school students to take algebra. Their logic being that students taking algebra classes score higher on math tests. In my mind, this should be about as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue. Of course they are going to get better test scores - they are better at math ! Why else would they be in algebra ?

However, I was able to derive a miniscule morsel of usefulness out of this mess. I know exactly what I will be writing my "anchor paper" on, come April: standards in education.

With the holiday season upon us once again, it is time for me to contemplate the gifts I will be distributing to the kind people whom I feel deserve them. This year, I have devised a near-perfect scheme for this gift distribution process : make fancy dipped chocolates. I say near-perfect, though, because I have been hindered by an unfortunate calamity.

You see, crafting these delightful dipped delicacies involves the creation of a substance called
"ganache." Ganache is the substance inside the dipped chocolate, composed primarily of cream, butter, and, of course, chocolate. However, as anyone who has ever attempted to synthesize said substance knows, it is a very precarious process. Heat the mixture two degrees too many and you wind up with a congealed mess of sludge rather than a smooth, velvety ganache. Of course, those purveyors of culinary knowledge, the French, have a secret to combating congealment: invert sugar.

By adding invert sugar to the ganache, the tiny crystals which from inside, and subsequently create that voluptuously smooth texture, are far more likely to form.

With this knowledge in hand, I became determined to track down some invert sugar to save myself from wasting copious amounts of money on ten-dollar-a-pound Callebaut chocolate.

However, even armed with the internet and my trusty copy of Chocolate Obsession, I was unable to find invert sugar in quantities less than fifteen pounds. This is far more than I actually need, especially when you consider that I may use one pound should I decide to make two hundred chocolates.

All of this leaves me in a very uncomfortable situation. With Christmas on the twenty fifth and Hanukkah beginning the same day, it is becoming more and more vital that I find a supply of invert sugar. I am really quite baffled as to why it is such an elusive substance. Anything which possesses near magic properties ought to be more popular, or at least available in smaller quantities. After all, I would much rather spend sixty dollars on six pounds of chocolate than on a tub of invert sugar.