ATLANTA, GEORGIA - President Bush today unveiled his latest initiative for improving education in inner-city schools. The new plan would direct two hundred billion dollars towards vocational education for students in grades seven through eleven, if approved by Congress. However, in an unanticipated move, Mr. Bush indicated that the vast majority of this money would be directed towards programs for training inner city youths to become professional rap music artists. "Today's inner-city children have many hopes, many dreams," said Bush in his speech, "Fifty years ago our children might have wanted to become doctors, policemen, or scientists. Today, though, many youngsters hope to be more like Ice-T or Fifty Cent."

According to the official White House report, titled "Taking the Raps Off Success, Yo," over three billion dollars would go towards purchasing so-called "bling," or jewelry, for students in the program. At a press conference after the speech, Mr. Bush responded to press inquiries concerning this somewhat uncharacteristic spending behavior. Mr. Bush indicated that the so-called "bling provision" was added to help small jewelry stores, "I - the administration - cares about small businesses," added Bush.

The proposed legislation has received a mixed reaction from figures inside the rap music industry. One music label executive, who wished to remain anonymous, commented that the new legislation would flood the market with, "cut-rate, awful, painful, and downright drab rap content," and, "make my life very, very painful." Popular rap artists, on the other hand, seemed far more optimistic about the president's plan. "I will be selling a lot of clothes," commented professional rap artist Sean Combs, "This will give me a great opportunity to create some great new clothes." When pressed further about his views Mr. Combs stated, "I like clothes."

Many politicians were unwilling to comment on the plan. Representative Tom Delay (R-TX), who had traveled with the president to unveil the plan, would not respond to press inquires. However, it was apparent he felt uncomfortable. Mr. Delay wore a look of utter shock following the president's speech. Democrats remained mostly silent on the issue, which many political strategists feel could help them win conservative votes. The office of Senator Barack Obama (D - IL), though, issued a press release stating, "This simply confirms our fears that the president has no clue what he is doing running the country. If the Democrats do not win in 2008, then God have mercy on us."

Political commentators found themselves in a veritable role reversal after hearing the news. Conservative TV host Bill O'Reilly, who traditionally sides with Mr. Bush, denounced the president's plans on his Friday night, O'Reilly Factor. "I cannot possibly support an administration filled with dumb heads that are going to be giving money to people like Ludicrous," commented O'Reilly, "I told you to boycott Pepsi when they hired him, so I am telling you now: boycott the United States. In fact, I am so outraged, I am moving to France." Liberal author and radio show host, Al Franken, had a different take. "I think this is the best thing W's ever done," said Franken, wearing a big smile, "Though this just goes to prove what a big fat liar the president is. When he said he listened to George Jones we all knew he was lying. He has probably been harboring a secret obsession with Eminem for the past four years."

Whatever commentators or politicians may say, students in cities, like Atlanta or Los Angeles, may experience a drastic change of pace when they return to school this September.

In my first blog entry of the year, I hope to display the displeasure I currently feel towards my computer. While I love the beautiful design and the oh-so-handy lightweight design, since purchasing a (gorgeous) twenty inch Apple Cinema Display, the computer has felt slow. Really slow. So slow, in fact, I titled this entry Slow like a Sedated Snail. It's that slow.

More recently though, all of this animosity has been exacerbated by Apple's recent announcements at Macworld. From what I have heard, the new Intel-based Macs run circles around their PowerPC counterparts. Then I got my hands on a copy of iLife '06 (also announced at Macworld), which would be really great, if it did not run like molasses and consume nearly all of the remaining space on my hard disk. So little space remains on my hard disk that I could not use the fun new tools to produce a DVD or make a movie if I had a DVD or movie to make.

I need a new computer !