Assorted Afflatuses

Watching parts of the Macworld Keynote on Apple's website, I could not help but notice the somewhat incongruous nature of Cingular's CEO Stan Sigman's presence when he took the stage. Unlike Google's CEO Eric Schmidt, who jogged onto the stage, Mr. Sigman waddled quietly out of the corner like a middle-aged, overweight penguin. Mr. Sigman also made the choice to read his speech off of notecards, something the other three speakers — Jobs, Schmidt and Yahoo Co-Founder Jerry Yang — wisely avoided. Even Bill Gates, whose speeches I generally consider quite marginal, manages to present sans notes at trade shows.

But even using the penultimate speaking crutch, Stan Sigman seemed incapable of articulately communicating his message. He stumbled on small words, created popping noises in his lavalier microphone — a feat I thought impossible — and he even confused Cingular with its new corporate parents. Whoops. Almost any fifth grade elementary schooler could have delivered a better speech, albeit without the industry buzzwords. (Though, that might actually constitute an improvement).

If I were the one giving the presentation, I would have been in the corner, cringing as Sigman doddered across the stage, ruining my meticulously prepared presentation.

Next time Cingular, send the PR guy.