Assorted Afflatuses

As I write this, I am watching the second half-hour of some absolutely ridiculous self-help program on Rupert Murdoch's new Fox Business Network. I hate to sound patrician or snobbish, but I can only describe the Fox Business Network as the "low-rent" version of CNBC. Candy coated, easily to digest business news for the flag waving set, one might say.

Their 5 PM programming epitomizes the difference between the two networks' philosophies. At the same time the Fox Business Network airs its peculiar self-help program, CNBC is airing "Fast Money." Put concisely: two shows, one time, worlds apart.

Whereas Fast Money features a panel of four or five investment gurus, the Dave Ramsey Show (as I just discovered this strange program is called) features one somewhat overweight pundit who barks out advice to his audience. And, while Dave Ramsey groans on about the best way to eat an elephant — as some kind of perverse metaphor for escaping from credit card debt — the folks on CNBC are probably discussing the best way to put $10,000 of disposable income into a risky, but potentially rewarding stock.

This must be what Mr. Murdoch and the network's executives meant when they said the Fox Business Network would make business news "more accessible." Instead of providing business-related investment advice to the tiny group of people who have tens of thousands of dollars to invest for fun, Fox Business offers helpful hints to the growing segment of America's population in serious debt. Very attractive.

Network executives also like to say Fox Business is not "CNBC-lite." Nevertheless, the style employed by the Fox Business Network makes me think more of its sister channel — the Fox News Channel — than it makes me think of CNBC.

Like its sibling, Fox Business features lots of gold and red, as if to put its viewers into a state of readiness for some vaguely threatening disaster. The Fox Business Network also seems to enjoy featuring headlines with a decidedly sensationalist flavor. "More Treats, But Fewer Seats: Who Pays?" reads one about trends in the entertainment industry. "CEOs with Extreme Hobbies Should Give Investors Pause," proclaims another. It makes me think that business scandals will take root on Fox Business the same way strange stories about lost spouses and missing children eat up time on FNC.

Unlike its sister network, however, the Fox Business Channel does not have a niche to fill. When Mr. Murdoch and his ally Roger Ailes launched the News Channel in 1996, the Fox News Channel captured viewers who considered MSNBC and CNN too élite or simply craved news that could be called (perhaps undeservingly) "patriotic." But a business channel caters to people who do business. And, as far as I can tell, CNBC is the most pro-business network on air. Each and every one of their anchors and pundits has a very pro-trade, anti-tax ethos.

Alas, I see the Fox Business Network succumbing to the same fate as TimeWarner's failed CNN Financial Network. Their programming tackles rather mundane and unimportant topics, rather than focusing on subjects that impact people who do business. Instead of adopting a clean, corporate, business-oriented editorial philosophy, the folks at Fox Business have chosen to take the more Joseph Pulitzer-esque sensationalist route. And, most importantly, the Fox Business network has no niche to fill. I give it two years, at the most.