Assorted Afflatuses

About one week ago, I came to the decision that I would apply to the University of Chicago. Apart from the many academic and social benefits offered by the university, the fine folks in the windy city offer a non-binding early action program. That would, in theory, give me two choices come December, assuming that both Bates and Chicago accept me.

Initially, the Chicago application, which has somehow managed to earn itself a reputation for being extremely long and rigorous, presented no substantive challenges. Thankfully, their two short-answer essay questions dispensed with excessively flowery language and esoteric literary allusions designed to project an air of prestige, making the questions a cinch to answer. Some of the long-answer essay topics, on the other hand, seemed overly philosophic. Essay option number three, for example, ends with, "Write a page. Who has written it?" I would share my essay here, but given my Google PageRank, there is a high probability that someone looking to cut corners might find it and make my life even more unpleasant.

Unlike the essays, however, managing to schedule an interview was next to impossible. I called the admissions office yesterday, thinking that I would be able to schedule an interview. But, almost as soon as I had finished stating my purpose for calling, the woman on the other end of the line informed me that the interview schedule was, "completely booked," to use her words.

I thought gaining admission to the University itself would be a challenge. But it seems that even obtaining a coveted on-campus interview is rather difficult.

Admittedly, I do deserve some of the blame. Early action candidates must complete their interviews before 2 November and, given that a great many people apply to the school, I probably should have called to book an appointment as soon as I had committed to applying, rather than three weeks before the deadline.

I do have some hope, though. About an hour after I was categorically denied the chance to interview, I called back and asked the lovely woman to whom I spoke whether it would be possible to put me onto some sort of ad hoc waiting list, should someone fall ill, die or find themselves otherwise incapable of interviewing. She did not commit to the idea, but said she would, "Keep me in mind."

Hopefully someone forgot to schedule an appointment for their flu shot. Otherwise I will have to schedule another utterly ineffective alumni interview. On principle, it does seem rather cruel to wish suffering upon another person, but given the amount of suffering that I have been subjected to, I think a moral exception ought be made.