Image courtesy chocolate monster mel

This morning, just blocks from San Francisco's famous Union Square, I had breakfast at some supposedly famous diner by the name of Lori's. (Highly not recommended.) Rather than order an over-cheesed cheese omelet or commit to consuming a mile-high stack of pancakes, I opted for French toast. Not for the first time, I found myself quite disappointed. Like dozens of other breakfast spots around the nation, Lori's French toast, while golden brown on the outside, offers nothing more than parched, insipid nothingness on the inside. Not my idea of "Fabulous French Toast," as the Lori's menu puts it.

No, to gain a true understanding of what French toast ought really be, we must dive into the pages of history. French toast, in American parlance, has its origins in France, of all places. There, it goes by the haughty and pretentious name of pain perdu, or literally "lost bread."

Back in the days before food scientists had developed the wacky chemicals used to keep modern bread soft for unnaturally long periods of time, those bread-loving French people needed something to do with their stale bread. Some made bread pudding. Some made croutons. The most cunning culinary creatives, however, tried something altogether more interesting. They brought their bread back to life by first softening it in raw custard — eggs, cream, vanilla — and pan frying the custard-laden slices.

Thus, true French toast: crunchy and golden on the outside, moist, tender and custardy on the inside. There is no substitute.

I can only guess why the modern American restaurant has abandoned this recipe for guaranteed deliciousness. On the one hand, rehydrating a completely dry, rock hard slice of bread takes far longer than coating a still soft slice with batter. In the time-is-money world of the restaurant business time saved could be money earned. On the other, perhaps drying out hundreds or thousands of slices of bread poses too much of a logistical challenge. But whatever the problem, restaurants should seriously consider revamping their French toast. Otherwise, I will have nothing to order for breakfast but oatmeal.

For my more delicious French toast recipe, read on.