Assorted Afflatuses

the poisoning one with cheese or another dairy product

"Shamus' objected to his editor's advice to kill his novel's antagonist, Le Duc de Fromage, by tyrotoxism."

the consumption of raw food, usually meat

"Despite the recent samonella outbreak, Larry, a dyed-in-the-wool omophagist, insisted the waiter serve him chicken tartare."

the technical term for beekeeping

"Barry felt betrayed when he learned apiculture concerned bees."

a secret dungeon with access solely through a ceiling trapdoor

"Fearing her husband's insatiable hunger, Lady Honger stashed her haggis in the oubliette."

make contradictory or evasive statements

"Unprepared for the moderator's question, Fredrick Candidate began to tergiversate."

a loud thudding sound, esp. one made by an exploding bomb or shell

"To train her ghetto ear, Marie listened to crumps for hours on end."

a concentrated artillery bombardment

"King Monarch was forced to discharge Commodore Dominion after his excessive stonking lost the kingdom three frigates."

read thoroughly or carefully

"Pressed for time, Anne could not peruse the newspaper, as she usually did, opting instead to skim the arts and leisure section."

an insignificant person

"Jonathan choked on his triple-soy-cinnamon-chocolate caffe latté when his client, on trial for manslaughter, tried to justify his reckless speeding by calling the victim, 'Just another dandiprat.' "

a tightrope walker

"Millie, the circus funabulist, drew the line when she was asked to walk over a vat of hot marshmallow cream."